I can’t count the number of times I’ve contrived an ornate daily practice, and then let it fall flat only a few days into it. Having had the privilege of working from home this past year has given me plenty of time to reflect on how my daily patterns have evolved. It hasn’t been pretty. But this, like many experiences during the pandemic, has taught me sometimes there really is no way around it but through it. And right now I am really going through it with my daily practice. Here are some of my deeper thoughts as I work on unpacking my yearning to grow, guilt, love, exhaustion, the best intentions and everything else rolled into this complicated subject.

Am I checking in with myself?

I have always had the habit of collecting journals. It’s really more of a compulsion. And though I’ve mostly broken myself of it in my adult years I still peruse the planner/journal aisle at Target, or Marshalls, or Ross, or…the grocery store. I admit it. Even a spiral notebook can get me. In one of my most recent moments of weakness I purchased one of those ‘one line a day’ journals. Each morning I note anything special about the day. Sometimes I document an important detail or message from a particularly vivid dream. And one of the most effective things has been to ask myself these two simple questions:

• How am I feeling?

• What do I need?

I’ve received some really insightful answers. And then there are days when ‘I feel sleepy,’ and ‘I need a cup of coffee.’ I ask these questions most days. It’s helped me take better care of myself, be more mindful of my choices, and treat myself gently when I’ve been processing a lot. Some days I don’t ask these questions, and I journal about other things. But every day taking a moment to jot down a few lines centers me. It’s brought me immense value, and I hope it will for you to.

What am I saying yes to?

Still, there are plenty of other things I would like to do as a daily practice besides my daily journal. This led me to question if I’m not getting to everything I want to do, why is that? What are the things I am choosing to do instead? Or is it that I am overly ambitious? As a fierce Virgo, taking on more work than is reasonable is always a risk. But in this case, no, I think I have enough time.

So what am I saying yes to? Some of my answers were not very satisfying. More often than not I found I was spending my time making endless lists (I love lists as a rule, but it’s easy to get out of control past, say, three), scrolling through Facebook, getting sucked into CNN, or checking LinkedIn, etc. My next step was to ask why I’m choosing to do more mindless activities, and the answer I received was that this is a lot.

This year has been A LOT - COVID-19, homeschooling, masks, grocery shortages, working from home, job loss, illness, death, domestic terrorism & police brutality, racism and white supremacy, extreme climate & failing infrastructure. We don’t all have room for much more. So I’ve decided sometimes it’s ok if I’m saying yes to curling up on the floor in the fetal position. And by understanding why, perhaps I can make a different choice tomorrow.

Putting the sacred back into life…

Eventually I arrived at this question: Why do I even have to have a daily practice, anyway? I mean I am sacred, right? So everything I do is sacred, right? And then, in my tantrum, I followed the white rabbit down that hole and found that, yes, it can be. Everything we do can be approached with reverence.

• I can wake up and have a moment of gratitude that becomes a prayer.

• I can eat giving honor to the flora and fauna that contributed to my meal.

• I can vote with my dollars.

• I can tend well to my relationships.

• I can take a sacred shower.

• I can make a sacred offering of my energy to my work.

This realization brings me so much peace. Knowing that I can infuse my daily activities with intention and transform them into spiritually enriching experiences takes so much pressure off in terms of trying to fit it all in on top of a daily practice. And though time magic is definitely in my single-mom bag of tricks, it’s even better when I can feed two mouths with one spoon.

I haven’t figured it out yet, but with these recent shifts in perspective I’m feeling close. And in the meantime I am enjoying another of the lessons I’ve learned from Ms. Corona: my greater capacity for self-forgiveness.

Blessings on your journey.

💖