Less Human…more Being?
What does it mean to be human, and how do we embrace it and grow into it, rather than try to deny it?
Who knows?
No, really. Who knows? Because I’d like to ask them.
This…is a picture of a douchebag. A Scandinavian company decided to embrace the term and make a line of travel gear under the Douchebag TM banner, sporting the motto ‘Less human, more being.’ Confused yet?
I don’t know why this brand’s mantra struck me so sideways, but it did. I saw this on the back of a single young traveler in line ahead of my partner and I coming back through customs late Friday night, where I got to witness a prime frat-boy-like display of this person along with two other travelers bemoaning still having to wear masks in the airport now that California has opened up. Inside. In an international airport. Coming from another country. In customs. Where people are here doing their jobs providing a service so those of us who choose to travel can do so safely.
The slogan 'less human, more being’ seems to be missing a couple of words: Less human empathy. More entitled being.
How do we get less human, and why would we want to? Maybe this young traveler thinks having less concern for other humans and humanity is the key to living a happier life. I would disagree. Though the idea of getting out of our heads and into nature is amazing, it’s certainly one of the most human things we can do. Humans have been living in relationship with this ecosystem and all other beings within it for hundreds of thousands of years, and protohumans for millions of years before that. We rely on this world and all that’s in it for our survival. And humans are clearly a successful species.
I don’t think less human is the key. Less judgement, maybe. Less arrogance, for sure. Less douchey, juvenile, survivalism as the antithesis of community and society, yes please. Less arbitrary compartmentalization of our lives. Less separation of ourselves from our natural environment. Less devaluing one another and fighting within and amongst ourselves. Less scarcity mindset. Less posturing and power hoarding. Less intimidation. Less war. Less fear.
In place of all this we need more of several things: More love, value, art. More finding our true selves and talents. More growth. More innovation. More passion. More progress. There are many theories on what it means to be human, but starting with the most basic definition, we are self-aware and highly intelligent social animals living in complex, cooperative communities where we largely rely on the skills and contributions of one another within the greater whole to sustain ourselves. Within our communities and through our daily activities we strive to create a life that successfully meets all our needs, and fulfills many of our desires. And based on the way we have constructed those communities, we need one another in all our humanness in order to survive.
With my child graduating high school, myself entering peri-menopause, and as I strive to coach myself always through the transitions I encounter in my own life, I’ve been thinking about humanness, and what we make of these lives we are given. When reflecting on and assessing my own life I find it critical to have an external method of evaluation, otherwise I might fall down a rabbit hole and never come out. One of my favorite models remains Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs spruced up a little for modern sensibilities, but any model will do.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is divided into the needs that help us feel whole - our basic needs - and the needs that, beyond that, help us fulfill our potential - our growth needs. According to Maslow’s motivational model, below the line motivation decreases as our needs are met, whereas above the line motivation increases as our needs are met. I’m not sure I agree it’s that simple and neat of a divide. When we are living below the line, we often have our hands full meeting our basic needs, and don’t have much free time to think about the meaning of life, our appetites for beauty, or our unique contribution to the world. But as with all things in life, it’s not perfectly linear, and so just because there are gaps in some of our foundational basic needs, doesn’t mean we don’t experience a sense of beauty or deeper meaning in life. Also, needs are relative, and one person’s requirements to meet their survival needs might involve a cinderblock house and grass roof, while another’s is a two bedroom apartment in the suburbs. Our requirements for comfort vary.
The needs above the line are about more deeply exploring ourselves and our environment. When we are living above the line with all our basic needs met, we are able to search for meaning, beauty, and purpose, and discover ways to approach life where we can put our whole selves into all that we do. Having experienced moments of this total alignment of person and purpose, there is nothing more blissful. In my life it’s my constant goal to come from this place of complete alignment more and more of the time.
Humanity is defined by our characteristic curiosity and questioning, and the way we weave stories to make sense of our lives and our world. This world is a beautiful one, pregnant with dreams waiting to be born into experience for all of us to witness and share. The idea of ‘being’ without considering all this, without considering ourselves as humans, begs the question to what end?
Here are some journal prompts to use as jumping off points for taking stock using Maslow’s Hierarchy as a model for self-exploration:
Where am I just surviving, when I could be thriving? What are 1-3 things I can do differently to move beyond survival mode? What help do I need? Where are some places I can seek help?
Where I am feeling unsafe in my life? How can I change the situation to create more safety for myself physically, mentally, emotionally? What help do I need? Who are some people it would be safe to ask for help?
Which relationships fill me with love & a sense of belonging? Which relationships no longer serve? Where should I spend more/less time? What can I do in the next month to adjust where I am spending my time and with whom?
What makes me feel valued? What am I proud of/good at? What have I been complimented on, even if I don’t believe it? What do I wish I could spend more time doing? What have I always wanted to try?
When do I feel inspired? What gives me a feeling of peace? What do I believe in that’s bigger than myself? What are the sources of strength I pull from in moments of difficulty?
Where do I make room for beauty in my life? How do I see the beauty that is available for me in each moment?
In my relationships, how do I best live to serve others? What lights me up? How can I most fully express myself and my gifts and talents in this world? What is my vocation/my calling?
What do I know for sure to be true? What have I learned in this life that gives me comfort? What wisdom have I gained that provides me insight into life? What is beyond all this?
The answers to these questions change over time, and taking stock regularly - every month, or six, or twelve - can keep you accountable to moving in the direction of your hopes and dreams.
Happy being human.
💖
