Discomfort Becomes Her
“A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear that results from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl.”
And gifts her with a pearl…
It all begins with an errant food particle - just a bit of undigested plankton - or perhaps a small pest that invaded the shell. The oyster cannot expel it, and becomes irritated by it. Needless to say it does not feel good to have a piece of undigested anything stuck anywhere. So the oyster responds by secreting a fluid to coat the irritant and render it harmless. Layer upon layer is added until a lustrous pearl begins to form. The oyster continues to add layers with the passage of time. The oyster’s story continues, and the pearl changes and grows.
“All art is autobiography; the pearl is the oyster’s autobiography.”
We can’t always control the problems life presents, nor the timing. We can, however, control our response. We can control the story we tell ourselves and how these little hiccups in life become a part of us. If the problem had never come our way, we would never have had the opportunity to grow from it, or learn from it - to create something beautiful and valuable from the experience. When we run into an obstacle or an issue, perhaps there are times the best solution is to not try to avoid it, or eliminate it, but rather to sit with the discomfort and learn what it has to teach us.
Otherwise we might miss out on the opportunity to create something beautiful.
What is there to be learned by sitting with discomfort? What are some of the tools we can use to process uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, or situations? Here are some tips for not running away from your feelings:
Journal your thoughts and feelings on the matter. Put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and just go. Let yourself say whatever you want, free from censorship or judgement. This is for your eyes only.
Pay attention to your dreams. Keep a notepad on the nightstand to write them down as soon as you awaken. Oftentimes our subconscious mind has more to say on the matter than our waking mind does.
Keep a log each day answering the questions “How do I feel?” “What do I want?” and “What do I need?” I usually do this first thing in the morning with my coffee. I keep it to just one or two sentences. “I feel achy and cranky about going to work and I need to stretch.”
Where do these feelings live in your body? Practice tightening into the feeling, and then releasing. It’s often not until I scrunch a part of me up as tightly as I can, and then release, that I notice how tense I actually was.
Ask yourself “What is the story I’m telling myself about this thought/feeling/person/situation?” Is it true? Is it kind? Does it serve me? What is a more generous alternative? How can I hold the people in my life with unconditional positive regard?
After these exercises you still may not have any more answers than when you began, and if that’s true, try not to worry about it, and regard your uncertainty as a temporary companion who will be on their way as soon as they can pass on their pearl of wisdom - however long that might take!
Blessings on your journey.
💖
